Fuck you, gaming!

9 11 2008

As much as I love gaming, I’m starting to develop an active hate for game developers. Here I’m not talking about EA, I’m also talking about everyone else.

Games cost money. I don’t have anything against the fact they cost money because I’m still enjoying those twenty bucks I paid for Rainbow Six: Vegas or that Katamari demo whenever my other hand is busy. I’ll leave you the obvious masturbation joke. I will happily pay for games once in a while then play the crap out of them until my hand get sore from button mashing, but I also have a life.

This is something they seem to have forgotten, pumping out every single awesome game they have in stock within 30 days. Now you’ve got Gears of War 2, Call of Duty: World at War, Far Cry 2, Guitar Hero: World Tour, Mirror’s Edge and a couple more releases coming all at the same time and they expect me to buy them all. Back with the having a life thing: having a life costs money. The same money I use to buy video games is also used to buy gas for the car I don’t have, new gadgets once in a while and parts for my homemade rocket launcher. If I spend 70$ (taxes, folks) on every game I want released this month, I probably won’t be able to live through the month (just kidding, I’m still a parasite).

Now let’s say I buy all of these games at once. Is there a sane method to play through all of this game withing the next decade? I’m an achievement whore and I won’t even ditch Kameo before getting at least 75% of the gamer points the games has. I didn’t get to see the last level of at least half of my games too. Not to mention I barely got to use the map editor in Far Cry 2 yet. In fact I didn’t even take the time to make a penis-shaped map (I know you did).

If you want me to buy your awesome video games, you’ll have to stop releasing them all at once. My brain, thumbs and general health can’t stand more than two great releases a month.

Thank you

-Nick





Can someone explain this to me?

19 10 2008

I’m waiting for Far Cry 2 for the Xbox 360. The game was developed by Ubisoft Montreal (Montreal is in Canada, BTW) yet the game will be available 4 days earlier for the US folks. In fact, even Europe will get it before us Canucks.

Why can’t I get a game made in Montreal before Europeans? In 4 days a Ubisoft Montreal employee could WALK to my house and hand me and a couple more folks a copy.

You’ll have to work on this, Ubi.





Castle Crashers first toughts

2 10 2008

After weeks of fantasizing about Castle Crashers, my friend and I finally bought our point cards yesterday, ready to kick some medieval ass in co-op.

Once we downloaded and purchased everything, I invite him in my very first online game. A random guy joins in, we all sing like complete idiots and finally start the game. Did you hear about Castle Crasher’s shitty connection? I didn’t. We managed to play one All You Can Quaff game but every other attempt failed and apparently we’re not alone.

We bought this game for co-op and Tom Fulp gives us the finger with an half-baked multiplayer. Fuck you.

Anyway we headed to the single player campaign with our headsets plugged in and just pretended the other guy was there when the creatures shat all over the place and cracked a few laughs around the game.

If a patch is coming as mentionned, then this game would be one of the best Live titles I’ve played. Without multiplayer it’s just not the same!





The Great Fall of Gaming

20 08 2008

We are in 2008, probably one of the best year to be a gamer. We have 3 great consoles to play on (I had to include the Wii), thousands of people devoted to making the best game and fall is coming. Yeah, fall like “autumn”, not like “of france”. This is going to be a great season for gaming, with a crapload of great titles coming out on the 360, PS3, PC and uh… ah yes, the Wii.

There are so many that I will have to figure out a way to store them with my other games since the drawer I put them is getting a bit small. Oh sure I could sell them on eBay, but I’m not done with the achievements.

Okay let’s start:

The sure ones are Brothers in Arms (Sept. 23), EndWar (Nov. 4), Gears of War 2 (a mere 3 days later), Call of Duty: World at War (Nov. 11), Mirror’s Edge (the same god damn day). Then you have the games with uncertain releases set in 2008, notably Alliance:The Silent War (not likely) and Portal: Still Alive.

I’m going bankrupt around December 1st.





More fun to have in GTA IV

2 08 2008

I have the game since a while, and I played it quite a lot. My friends and I, with the collaboration of everyone who sent their glitches on YouTube, found a few more original ways to have fun in GTA IV. This time it’s only multiplayer fun!

Evel Knievel

The airport is a great place to pull off stunts. Simply get a few friends and fire up a free mode game there. Have a few guys grab choppers and the rest should grab identical vehicle. Now if you look at the end of the runway, you should see a floating platform with boxes on it. Have the people with cars going to the opposite side of the runway and the chopper drivers fly just a meter above the water between the platform and the end of the runway. At the signal, have them cross the runway, take the jump and -once they go airborne- jump out of the car. If everything went well, they should hit the rotor blades, fly away and die.

Swingset

There is a glitch with a swingset in the Firefly Projects that can be quite fun once you figure out how to get it to work. Jump out of the car in midair for increased distance. We spent countless hours playing with that glitch :P

Hide and Seek

Start a new private team deathmatch game with your friends and have all of them go in the same team except one (the guy that has to find the others). Put a short duration and set the blips to team only. Agree on a distance limit and count to something like 30 before trying to find the others. This is pretty damn fun, trust me.

Last stand

Start a new free mode game with friendly fire off and police on. With the weapons you start with and the one you pick up during the rampage, you and your friends must last for as long as possible. This can take epic proportions when the police choppers kick in.





10 more things to do in GTA IV

15 06 2008

1-Go for a turkey shoot

The sniper rifle in GTA IV is dead accurate, but over great distances the delay increases, making shooting moving targets a tough job. Grab a bolt-action sniper, shoot a first round to make them panic and then start taking some peds down. In multiplayer, you can try killing more than your friend in a set amount of time.

2-Annoy everyone

When you bump in people, they often drop what they were holding. You can pick up these items and throw them back at their owners. After following pedestrians for a while, they get angry and will eventually want to fight you or run away.

3-Become the street ninja

Thanks to the improved combat system, hand-to-hand combat was made fun. You can even pull out some impressive combos after you dodged your opponent’s hit. The hotdog/nuts/burger stand owners will never leave without a fight. You can also get an achievement by beating ten people with your bare hands in under 4 minutes.

4-Intercept some calls

Sometimes people get phone calls and answer. This often yields to wicked phone conversations. I heard some hobos telling me something about his bananas when I bumped into him a few days ago.

5-Watch Niko watch TV.

When you unlock your second safehouse, you find a television set in your crappy appartment. Just stand by a sofa and press LB to watch TV. The selection is limited but the shows are hilarious.

6-Death from above

Once you unlocked the second island, you can take a cab to the Helitour. From there you can steal an helicopter and go anywhere in a few minutes. You can use them to land on the Statue of Happiness’ head and do #1 or try to chop down innocents with the rotor blades.

7-Racing alone

Try to cross the city as fast as you can without breaking your ride. This is pretty hard to deal with the traffic, the peds… and it’s even better in multiplayer free mode when you compete against a friend.

8-Big Bang

Take Niko to the star junction (where the traffic is huge) and try to pile up as many vehicle as you can then blow ‘em up. This is an achievement, by the way.

9-Trial biking

Grab a motorbike, preferably a Sanchez, and find the skatepark. It’s a great place to do some neat stunts, especially in multiplayer free mode. Here is a Youtube video showing you how to get there

10-On the good side of the law

By accessing a police computer, you can do the Most Wanted missions and let me tell you they are entertaining! There are also random Current Crime missions if you arrested everyone. Both will yield achievements, by the way.





Video game cliche #127

6 06 2008

Food can heal ANYTHING!





Only good news!

29 05 2008

What is better than receiving a new replacement Xbox by the mail? Being unable to take pics of it because my BRAND NEW camera is charging.

Out to play some GTA IV :D





Without a Xbox: D-Day + 1

24 05 2008

I sent in my Xbox today, it’s gone! Hopefully I won’t have to wait over a week to see a new one at my door. Damn! I miss GTA and the rest soooo much!

Anyway, g’night everyone!





Without a Xbox: Departure Day

22 05 2008

The empty box came in today, I’m about to send my trusty old xbox back for a new one. Let’s hope everything goes smoothly! *sniff*

In other news, the new Indiana Johns looks awesome, I can’t wait to see it… on DVD.





Worst game of 2008, officially.

19 05 2008

Shitty PC games are dime a dozen, but Euro Truck Simulator, the upcoming euro truck simulator, beat them all without even being released.

Everyone’s eagerly waiting for this blockbuster simulator to reach our consoles. I foresee a 3/10 average rating and many mentions for the worst game of 2008.

What’s next? Lawnmower Racer?





Without a Xbox: Day 6

16 05 2008

I was too busy again to find some time to play. That being said, however, it’s only 5PM, which means I gotta stay busy for the next 6-7 hours. I havn’t even received the goddamned box to send it back, which means I most probably won’t get it for next week. I hope at least it won’t get lost in the mail, you know UPS…

Still no drawing, probably because I spent half of my day Photoshopping my way through the french homework, the other half being saved to grab a few necessities at the mall and figuring out how the speedometer on my bike works (I yet have to do this).





Without a Xbox: Day 5

16 05 2008

Between the schoolwork, the friends and the dinner, I didn’t have time to draw anything. I managed to play something like 15 minutes today without it freezing. Otherwise I didn’t have any free time to play with it. There’s this french work due tuesday and I got no time for gaming since the whole weekend will be spent at Chicoutimi. We (Guillaume and I) watched Black Hawk Down today as we had to rent it for the project (I might upload it someday) and it sure is a great movie for those who never seen it. If you liked Saving Private Ryan, it’s along the same lines except it’s in Somalia in the ’90s.

I probably won’t post between saturday and monday since I won’t have any internet connection there. I guess I’ll find a way to kill time, as if having no gaming for a week wasn’t enough.





Without a Xbox: Day 4

14 05 2008

Good news! I’m not yet insane! I went through another full day without any form of gaming and aside from being hungry as hell, I’m fine. I stopped having halucinations and I’m still not considering the Wii or the PS3.

I still havn’t had any news of my new Xbox while my friends are happily enjoying GTA IV. Even if I was only allowed to play ’till 9pm, I sure miss the few minutes of fun before I had to tell everyone I gotta leave because of house rules. Seriously, all those stupid rules will drive me crazy WAAAAAAY before gaming will.

Here’s a pic as promised:

And before some crazy soccer mom/teacher goes crazy, this is just a drawing, I won’t shoot anyone, shut up, thank you and goodbye.





Without a Xbox: Day 3

13 05 2008

I’m starting to wonder what I’m gonna do during the 5 DAY WEEKEND that is coming. It’s not that I’m not happy or anything, just that I’d rather spend all the free time left between the french project and boxing against a friend with a healthy dose of GTA IV. I havn’t hit virtual people with a car IN 4 GODDAMNED DAYS and I sure miss it. The multiplayer was so awesome, I miss it too. Damn stuff, always breaking. Anyway here’s another picture as promised.

Just a hint like this by the way: tomorrow’s picture is entirely based on reality, I truly thought about it for a split second before my plans were shattered by a bitch slap from reality. I drawn something else.